Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
