Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
