You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
