I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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