Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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