I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
