Im at strip club and am horny
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Randomize
