Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
