so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
