To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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