New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
