So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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