wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
