that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My ATM looks so different sober.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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