oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize