the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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