so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
