I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize