i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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