I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
