I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
