Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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