I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
