Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
