have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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