I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize