is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
