I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He had one of those small greek statue penises
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
