I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
