I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
