we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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