Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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