Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Randomize
