Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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