He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
