Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
