Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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