My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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