Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
