just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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