I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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