Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize