We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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