We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize