I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
