You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
