his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
