There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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