He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
