Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
