The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
