my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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