but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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