we should wear snuggies to the strip club
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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