that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
