i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
