we're blogging at a bar
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
