i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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