I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
