I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
