Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm both gender and math confused
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize