i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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