Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
